The J-Spot

Arguably, the military is probably the best job you could ever have. I say that only because of the advice we got from one of our commanding officers right at the start of my journey into boot camp. During induction and the filling out of paperwork you’re told that you can retire rich if you just save your money. It’s no joke. Problem is, most everyone who goes into the military is going there because they need a little discipline in their lives, not because they are smart; saving money requires said discipline — even when your room and board is paid for. However, If you do go in because you are smart, then you are off to a wonderful and rewarding career… and yes, you can retire a millionaire. I was everyone. I’d like to slough off a little blame onto my best friend who dropped from our buddy system agreement at the last minute, and think that he was the one who needed the discipline, but who’s asking? Regardless, I was far from smart . When you st...

“Push with your shoulders! Keep your arms by your ears! Breathe! Just go over, you stupid bit*h!” Anyone who has mastered a seemingly impossible feat will know that only practice makes perfect. But, there is always that little voice inside that tells us that if we just understand some tiny trick or piece of knowledge that we will, then, magically be able to perform. Would there were some little blue pill that would just make us stand up straight and stiff! I used to ask my coach how he was able to hold his handstand for as long as he wanted, and he would always just smile, sometimes offering me a little advice, “ Keep your butt tight .” Often, I wondered if he was actually trying to help or just making a joke about sodomy. What’s with all of the sexual innuendos? Looking back, I can see that the best advice he could give me was no advice at all . The more you try and tell someone how it’s done, the more time they spend thinking and the less time they spend ...

Did you know that a fish will eat itself to death? It's scary to consider that we might do the same. I once drank diet green tea by the half gallon because I liked the way it tasted and figured, well, it has no sugar in it, it tastes good, has health benefits, what could go wrong? But, soon I found out that, it's not the sugar that is gonna kill ya. It's the glut.      Sammy died in 2017 after being diagnosed with end stage renal failure in Memphis, TN. The reasons were never quite solid. Some said he consumed too much MSG. Linda died in 2012 on a hospital bed in Sacramento. Some said it was because of all of the high-fructose corn syrup.      Jimmy said goodbye to his mom in 2015 at the bedside of a Hospice house in Houston. He swore it was because she drank too much diet coke.      Life is hard.      It's meant to be hard. If you want to know what real life is then, try telling your three year ol...