Never Favor

Making choices is inescapable. Or is it?
     I know my wife must sometimes take my non-opinionated viewpoint as an insult when she asks me where we should have dinner, or what we should do for fun. My answer is normally, "I don't care," or "whatever you like."

     It was just something that had become so ingrained in me that it was hard to make choices anymore. Maybe it was largely due to my past experiences of disappointments, or perhaps it was just a sole remaining morsel from my brush with enlightenment a decade earlier.
     I suppose making any choice sets us up for possible disappointment. But, if I admit that to be the reason for my inaction I would surely be marked as one who's disagreeable to disappointment altogether. Rather I grew so used to disappointment that it became dull, and I began to ask myself if making a choice to begin with were a form of selfishness.

     Now as I go on in years I can see things differently. Even considering the possibility that we can know what it is that we are going to like is the same as claiming that we can predict the future. Predicting the future, either by you or me is impossible.
     Stating that fact has me thinking that not making a choice at all is, in a way, predicting the future as well, because we are assuming that we will be happier by remaining indecisive.
     Making a choice is not the set up for disappointment. Making a choice is simply a human experience. It requires no emotion, only the faculties of the body and mind.
     Emotion is really the only thing we can project into the future with any confidence.
     We may decide on the green dress rather than the blue and then everyone at the party ends up wearing green too. That is something we cannot predict with certainty. But we can predict that we will be happy at the party no matter if everyone wears blue or green or likewise.
     It can seem like we have no control over our emotional reactions, but that is only because no one has ever taught us how.
     If you consider for a moment just the possibility of choosing happiness all of the time you will see it can be done. It is like losing weight, or working out, or learning a new language. It will take work, a lot of it, but it is possible.

     Do you think it would be easier to change the world?
     If you need a little bit of hope in the endeavor, think of a time that was really hard or embarrassing for you. It is impossible to go back and change those events, right? But, with time, our feelings about the experience change and sometimes we end up laughing about misfortune in the future. Emotion is the ONLY thing you can control and when you do, you will stop missing all the small things that fly by while you worry about if you are getting your way.

     'Never favor' is just my reminder. A reminder to be free to make choices, but to never favor what the outcome may be from those choices. Sometimes choices lead to adventure, and sometimes choices lead to amazement. Whatever the choices you make just be sure to remember and affirm to yourself daily that, "I will be pleasantly surprised."

Jay Horne is an author and publisher out of Bradenton, Florida who has shared a genuine interest in philosophy and martial arts since early childhood. He is a husband and father of four.

View all of his professional and philosophical works of literature on his Amazon author page where you will find blogs, videos, and free excerpts:

Jay M Horne